Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Little Harold @The Horse Auction

Hello again! I think you're gonna like Little Harold. He is like many other kids...smart, observant, and say the darndest things at the darndest time.. I got this rib-tickler from a friend in Oregon. 

Little Harold attended a  horse auction with his father. He watched as his father  moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs  and rump, and chest. After  a few minutes, Harold asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.' Harold, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy mom....'

Stay tuned..more to come later.  Fo' now, no forget Hawaii Gardenia Circle Anniversary Dance this Friday, August 17 at the Palladium. Happy Dancing!

Tuesday, August 07, 2018

The Mermaid

"Careful what you wish for!" Neva can tell what go'ng happen to you.

Three guys are having a relaxing day fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free, in return for granting each of them a wish.
One of the guys just doesn't believe it, and says. "OK, if  you can really grant wishes, then double my IQ."
The mermaid says, "Done!"
Suddenly, the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analyzing it with extreme insight.
The second guy is so amazed he says to the mermaid, "Triple my IQ."
The mermaid says, "Done!"
The guy starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping scientists and mathematicians for years.
The last guy is so enthralled with the changes in his friends that he says to the mermaid, "Quintuple my IQ."
The mermaid looks at him and says, "You know I normally don't try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but I really wish you would reconsider."
The guy says, "Nope, I want you to increase my IQ times five and if you don't do it, I won't set you free."
"Please," says the mermaid, "you don't know what you're asking. It'll change your entire view on the universe. Won't you ask for something else? A million dollars, anything?"
But no matter what the mermaid says, the guy insists on having his IQ increased by five times its usual power.
So the mermaid sighs and says, "Done!"

And the guy becomes a woman.

Happy Dancing, but make sure es not da guy you're  dancing with!  Aloha, you all!  

Wednesday, August 01, 2018

A Smart Dog

This is a tale of a Smart Dog who wanted to fit in with the business world. I chuckled on this one. Hope it does the same for you.

A local business is looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying : Help Wanted. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.
A short time afterwards, a dog trots up to the window, sees the sign and goes inside. He looks at the receptionist and wags his tail, then walks over to the sign, looks at it and whines. Getting the idea, the receptionist gets the office manager. The office manager looks at the dog and is surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looks determined, so he leads him into the office. Inside, the dog jumps up on the chair and stares at the manager.
The manager says, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumps down, goes to the typewriter and types out a perfect letter. He takes out the page and trots over to the manager, gives it to him, then jumps back on the chair. The manager is stunned, but then tells the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."
The dog jumps down again and goes to the computer. He demonstrates his expertise with various programs, produces a sample spreadsheet and database and presents them to the manager.
By this time, the manager is totally dumbfounded! He looks at the dog and says, "I realize you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."
The dog jumps down and goes to the sign and puts his paw on the part about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.
The manager says, "Yes, but the sign says that you have to be bilingual."

The dog looks him straight in the face and says, "MEOW!"

Aloha and Happy Dancing with a Bit of Humor!